Disconnected

I haven't posted lately for a couple of reasons. The first being a lot has been going on that has kept me very busy. But that one really doesn't fly because even when I am busy, I usually can find the time to post something.

The second reason is the real one. It is a feeling I have had of being disconnected. We have been looking for a church to attend that is closer to home, and it is not going well. I have this feeling that I just don't belong.

I read an article today in Rachel Held Evan's blog, and while I don't agree with everything she believes in, I can relate to her. In fact, while we differ in some aspects of what we believe, it is not our beliefs that we are looking for in a church, but rather acceptance and the ability to hold or express a belief that may not be popular or mainstream and not feel like a leper.

When Jesus came, the "church" was very closed-minded. They wouldn't even accept him, and a large part of the reason for that was because of who he was willing to accept. Yet at the same time, he was able to accept others without compromising who he was or what he believed. I think a lot of what we have in the conservative church is a fear of having people believe we condone something just because we accept and love those who practice such things. Jesus did not fear that, he loved and accepted all. But he did it without compromising his beliefs, something that I feel the liberal church errs in.

So I am not liberal. I believe homosexuality and abortion are wrong. But that should not stop me from loving them or fellowshipping with them. And I am not conservative, because I am not afraid of fellowshipping with people who do not agree with me. I just don't fit in.

Jesus did not fit in either. Is this what it means to be like him?

Confused

I sit here this morning with a bit of time on my hands after traveling 10 hours in the car. I had an opportunity to listen to a couple of Chandler and Keller sermons.

So I ask, what does God want from me? These men both hammer on the evangelical church, saying that mere "religion" is not enough. Yet most Christians would either disagree or say, "Huh? How can you call yourself a Christian if you are not religious?"

I see their point (Chandler and Keller), and I believe that they back it up with sound exegesis. And I agree that many evangelical churches fall into a blindness where they think they get it, but in reality they seem to only confirm what is preached. Just how narrow is that road, Jesus?

Why do we have to have classes on evangelism? Answer: To help grow the church. But if instead we just taught about the beauty of God and why he is worthy of all our love, wouldn't evangelism be a natural by-product of a changed life? And is the reason we don't teach more about the latter is because we just don't get it? Yet Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart!

I don't think he was wrong.

Changes

My life has endured a lot of changes lately, in several areas. But I want to focus on the spiritual side today.

I used to go to church and just agree with everything said, and defend it against anyone who thought differently. Yes, I was one of them. But then I started asking some questions, and when I met one of them, I found that I didn't care for that kind of response. I wanted honestly and truth, not pat answers and conformity. That attitude got me into trouble with the powers that be.

I saw this statement in another blog (here) and it has stuck with me since.

The Pharisees’ entire religious system was built on what man esteems. Everything they did was done to receive glory, honor and praise from man. They got it, even the disciples thought the Pharisees were top rung guys.

Most churches that I see represent this in one way or another. When I walk into a service, I feel I can quickly discern what the main focus of a congregation is all about. Maybe it is all about the preacher, a building project, pride in their friendliness or some other aspect of their personality, maybe it is about their giving to missions or the community, the list goes on. But what I want to find is a church that is flat out in love with God. Not the god who rubber stamps their dreams and wishes, but the God of the universe who loves us and saves us, and sometimes in ways that we do not understand.

When I look at this quote, one thing that strikes me is "even the disciples thought the Pharisees were top rung guys." Is this an issue today? (Rhetorical question, of course it is.) I noticed on the website of one of the churches I attended a sermon titled, "Detour Around Legalism." While I do not know the content of the message (and don't care to), my previous experience with this congregation tells me that it was either a pat on the back of themselves or a blind foray into the depths of a topic that they really need to dig deeper into.

Even the disciples thought the Pharisees were the "it" guys. That is so scary. Like Tim Keller and many others, I believe that Jesus came to destroy this kind of thinking. Note that it is the thinking that Jesus wanted to destroy, and not the Pharisees. Somehow, I have to figure out how to do that if I want to be like Him. Not an easy job.

The First Visit

We are at a place where we are looking for a church home. Yesterday, we traveled 13.5 miles to visit a Baptist church that we had heard some good things about. I had listened to a couple of sermons and thought they were good.

We arrived and parked in the lot. There were no signs to lead us to where to enter, but we saw several people heading to the back. We followed suit, and discovered that was where the main entrance to the sanctuary is. We entered and found a seat. Someone did hold the door for us and we were handed a bulletin, but other than that, we received no greeting or acknowledgement. We sat within 3 feet of where a man was standing and talking to others. Turns out he was the pastor. No, I don't believe that the pastor has to greet every visitor, but I also believe that the church will often follow the pastor's lead. If he only talks to the same people every week (and I am not saying that is the case here, but it could be) then the church often follows suit. My wife did comment about how they seemed friendly amongst themselves.

If I could say anything about this visit, I would say that is was clinical. The message was good, but lacked passion or challenge. It was very intellectual. It was well researched and delivered. The church was the same. The people were nice and appeared to enjoy one another, but it seemed to lack depth. Lots of handshakes, brief conversations, and then off to their seats.

So on the way home, my wife asked what I thought. I told her it was okay, and that there were some positive things but also some things that bothered me. The bottom line for me was that we needed to look closer to home. Not to find a better church, but to find a place where we can get more involved without being hindered by a 25 minute drive one way. We need to and hope to find a place in our own community where we can be a part of a family, even if is slightly dysfunctional.

Carbon Copies

Does anyone besides me remember the days of the carbon copy? When you had to put a sheet between the pages to that your typewriter would be able to  make a copy for you. We have come a long way since then and I am thankful for that.

Now, we can scan copies and fill them out, or alter them, or just leave them as is.

Jesus calls us to make disciples. But are these disciples carbon copies? And if so, copies of what?

I think a lot of churches want to make copies rather than disciples. Copies are comfortable. We can look at a copy and see if it looks like the rest very easily. We can control the copies by what we put into the copier.

But I don't think making disciples means making copies of ourselves. If it did, we wouldn't need much of the New Testament, because much of the New Testament teaches us how to deal with the problems that are created by our differences.

I am not a carbon copy. I need the New Testament. Jesus did not create or expect carbon copies in his disciples.

I think Jesus came to break the copy machine. Good thing too, because I have dealt with copiers, and they are a pain to maintain.

Have I missed the point?

For some reason, I have been thinking of the Rich Young Ruler this morning. He was a man who came to Jesus asking what he must do to inherit eternal life.

I think his premise was off from the beginning, and Jesus was trying to show him this. First, Jesus says, "Just keep doing what you have been doing. Obey the commandments, follow the law."

But the man was smart enough to know that this was not enough, at least in Matthew's version. He told Jesus, "All these I have kept (I have kept the law), what do I still lack?"

Jesus responds by telling him 2 things, one of which we focus on and the other we miss.

Matthew 19:21   Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

That first part of the answer hits us hard. We consider it (giving away all that we have to the poor) and then want to explain it away. "Well, Jesus doesn't ask that of everyone," or "Jesus just wants us to have a loose grip on our stuff," or "Jesus was speaking that way to this man because he had a problem with wealth, but I can handle it." Care to add your favorite?

It is a section of Scripture that we don't want to talk about a lot. But I think the lessons are huge.

First, try as we might, we cannot do anything to earn our salvation. Going to church, praying, tithing, helping little old ladies across the street, been there and done that. There must be something more. What is missing?

Second, Stuff can and does get in the way. Our lives are cluttered and messy. They are full of wazgunnuz. I was gonna pray about this, I was gonna read that book, I was gonna go to church today. It's not that the wazgunnuz save us, but they do reveal our hearts. When we don't get to our wazgunnuz, we reveal what is important to us by what we have done. What if our lives sounded like this, "I was gonna what that show, but I was praying, I was gonna take a nap but I needed to read another chapter of that book, I was gonna play another round of golf, but I remembered that I wanted to take some of that clutter down to the Christian Center. I think our wazgunnuz reveal a lot about us.

Third, The thing that is missing is following Jesus. Even selling all that we have misses the point if we do not follow Christ! This seems obvious, but I think it is what most Christians are really missing. I wuzgunna follow Jesus, but I was too busy getting rid of my stuff, that takes a long time you know.

Following Jesus. Like Mary, who sat at his feet while Martha was so worried about having everything in place. Maybe we don't have to give it all away, maybe we just need to let all that other stuff take a back seat to loving Jesus.

T or F: Jesus was a peace-maker

I chose this statement in light of this post. Also, I chose it in light of a struggle I have had lately, after being told that "I can be offensive at times."

I especially like the line, "He’s relentless in His desire to offend the sensibilities of self-righteous people."

Before I get to me, let's think about Jesus. When I think of the Jesus of the gospels, I can think of many issues of Jesus the peace-maker. He brought about peace through his words, through his healings, and ultimately through his death. But I also see much of Jesus the offender of sensibilities. He not only confronted the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, but often his own disciples as well. He called Peter "Satan." He told the masses they must pick up their crosses if they want to follow him. He told his disciples they must become like children if they want to enter his kingdom, he told a rich young man to sell all he had. The list goes on.

Jesus was not concerned about gathering a large number of disciples around him just for the sake of numbers. In fact, he often said offensive things for the seeming purpose of weeding out those who only wanted to fill their bellies. Yes, Jesus was a peace-maker, but he was often offensive in the process. How ironic to us!

I am not Jesus, I know that. But I desire to be like him. So I know that I must sometimes be the peace-maker. But what about being offensive? Could I, should I, ever be offensive?

I will share one story, you tell me if I was out of bounds. We had been attending a church for well over a year. I had questions about the pastor's sermon content and specific statements he had made from the pulpit. I tried talking to him, but he became offended and wrote me a letter suggesting that if I did not like his sermons, perhaps I should find another place of worship. Elders spoke to me, telling me that we need to get along, be unified, but never addressing any of the questions or concerns I had. At one point, I chose to wear headphones during the sermon, and see what happened. Answer: Nothing. Even though the pastor saw me, as well as several of the elders, no one said a word. I was not spoken to until I started attending a small group. I was then told that my comments at group were out of line, and I was asked to "find another place to worship." Long story short, I am now looking for another church home.

At the meeting where I was asked to leave, one of the elders said he had been told I had worn headphones at one of the services. Truth is, he had been one of the ones to see me do so from the front of the service. He asked me what I was listening to. I told him, "sermons from other preachers." He chose this time to confront me, and asked if I thought this was right. I told him that all of my efforts to engage in conversation has been ignored. Was that right?

I admit that I have said some offensive things over the years. But sometimes the truth hurts. Maybe this particular incident was wrong, maybe not. I still struggle with the whole deal, but what do you do when people just bury their heads in the sand and condemn you, but when you ask what is wrong they just speak in vague generalities about how your conversation does not promote unity. Or how when you ask them if they can articulate what they are accusing you of, they can't. They just know that they are uncomfortable.

Jesus made a lot of people uncomfortable. Jesus makes me uncomfortable sometimes. I am okay with that. In fact, those seem to be the times that lead to the most growth, if I don't stick my head in the sand.

I recall one instance of Jesus saying he did not come to bring peace, but a sword. That is a tough teaching. It makes me uncomfortable. But it can bring me peace too. Peace in the aftermath of the struggle. Real peace.