For some reason I went back into the archives of my blog and read the letter the pastor sent to us after we had met with him.
Yes, many of my comments were sarcastic and harsh. But my writing was my venting. It's cheaper than a gun and doesn't get you in as much trouble. (There goes that sarcasm again!)
As I read that, and then this quote, a feeling of sadness comes upon me. It serves to validate this quote to me. It is that whole idea of working our way toward God rather than letting God come to us. But how can we come to God, when all our best works are but filthy rags? How do we dare approach him? Is not Isaiah's attitude better, knowing that we are people of unclean lips? Shouldn't we instead fall down at our knees and be afraid?
As I read the words of that letter, and as it caused me to think about that later meeting with the elders, it breaks my heart. Surely this is not what Jesus had in mind for his church. I think of the verse where we are told that the path to heaven is narrow, and few find it. But how few is few? Perhaps that few is a bit smaller than we might be comfortable with. Perhaps that few does not have as many American Christians on it as we would like to imagine. But all I get out of this for right now is that I need to watch where I am stepping, I need to make sure that my feet are on the right path.
It's okay to vent, but I pray for these people. And for the souls of those they lead. God help us all.
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