Take Away - SOM 5

 I am still processing the Sermon on the Mount. I have gone through the 25 posts and edited them for clarity and to revisit them for myself. Now I want to look at the applications I should be making for myself.

SOM Part 5

I want to begin by reiterating something from yesterday, being blessed is not something we receive as a result of performing or having the said behaviors here, it is something that we are and the reason we have these behaviors. Jesus said, "You will recognize them by their fruits." (Matthew 7:16) Grapes are not grapes because they behave like grapes, they are grapes because they come from the grape vine, it is what they are. Blessed, happy, or satisfied is not the result of things like humility or meekness or a desire for righteousness, it is a result of who you really are. Jesus continues His thoughts in Matthew 7 says that healthy trees bear good fruit, and cannot bear bad fruit, and that diseased trees cannot bear good fruit. He says that we will recognize "them" (those who are wolves) by their fruits. (Matthew 7:17-20) He is not talking about actions, for the wolves dress up as sheep to blend it. He is not talking about possessions or blessings, for there are many who are more blessed in possessions that are not Christians. He is talking about in their spirit. They are blessed, joyful, satisfied, and not because of circumstance but because of who they are in Christ.

So what is my take away for today? This is a tough one, because it kind of flies in the face of what most would call religion. In one way or another, most religions boil down to something that we do to appease God's wrath. This varies from following strict codes of behavior to just asking Jesus into your heart. I do not believe either of these are the path to the relationship with God that He desires us to have with Him. It seems to start with a fundamental change of who we are. How does that happen? It is through surrender. Surrender is something that really goes against our basic instinct of self-preservation. Think of prisoners of war, or slaves who have surrendered their rights and as a result faced tremendous suffering and abuse. But we are not surrendering to an enemy, but to a loving friend. There is one thing about surrender that strikes me here. When I have been attempting to do something on my own, and finally surrender to the idea that I might not be able to do it on my own so I seek help, there is a bit of peace that comes with that kind of surrender. Surrender to a friend, surrender to one who loves me is not a bad thing. I think again of the 12 steps of AA. The first step is that realization that we cannot do it, our addiction has a greater power over us than we can handle. The second is to believe that God (a power grater than ourselves) can. Step 3 is surrender to that power. It is only through surrender that change can occur. It is not surrender, then go back to trying again. It is surrender, period. 

Here is where I struggle: What does that surrender look like? It is not the typical surrender to the enemy, where you are imprisoned and can no longer do the things you want to do. It is a surrender where you are still "free" in a sense. Like house arrest, but with no ankle monitor. You are on the honor system. It is a voluntary surrender. For some, they do not choose to surrender until they have reached a certain point of despair. Some might call it hitting rock bottom. Others do not seem to hit that point. It seems to look different for different people. But the commonality is surrender. 

It is a process. It is a struggle. Sometimes it is not pretty. It is a process that we take on our own. No one can do it for us. We can, should, and need others as we take this process on, and yet we are only accountable for our own choices. It is a hard process to watch in others, and we can be there and offer encouragement, but we cannot make choices for others either. Sometimes I do not feel blessed or happy or satisfied in the process, but in an ironic twist, that too is part of the process. It is not a perfect process. It requires effort and honesty, yet ultimately what keeps me travelling on this road is the fact that all my effort and all my honesty are not enough. So I again surrender my efforts to Jesus, the reason I am and can be on this journey. 

Back to Church - Part 3

My journey through high school was fairly uneventful. Life in the youth group was fun, and gave me a sense of belonging. But not all was roses.

My brother was 2 and a half years younger that me. He got involved in youth after the choir thing had died down and disappeared. A new youth minister or two, neither of whom was musically inclined. Basketball became one of the next big things. We even had enough players to have 2 teams. The "A" team was the older, better players and the "B" team was the younger, less experienced players. 

When one of your major draws to church is sports, you pick up people who are there just for the sports. I think that the hope is that being with strong Christians will help draw you in to a relationship with Jesus. I am not sure we had many strong Christians. I do know that we had those there who were only there for the sports. The group that was a few years behind the group I was involved with had a lot of those kids. That would be the group my brother was mostly involved with. I think the adults assume the best, and turn a blind eye to some of the worst.

I believe my brother was in a time of life that would shape who he would become. 

But here is my question: When we use things like sports (or any other activity for that matter) as a means to draw people in to the church, is that an acceptable approach to evangelism? I know that this is a widely practiced method, but is it right? As someone who has been in ministry, and has used activities to draw people in, I now stand and question this tactic.

Perhaps the answer is found in the way it is done. My fear is that we use some events to get people to come to church to see that it is not that bad a place, that we are not the bizarre weirdos they might think, and if the opportunity arises to sneak in some Jesus, great! But what does that teach about Christianity, and about the salvation that Jesus offers? (I will ask lots of questions, but really won't present many answers, mostly because I don't know them.) Perhaps at least a part of the answer lies in the idea that there is a right way and a wrong way to do this. 

I think back to my high school days. One of the teams in our softball league had several members arrested as part of a chop shop operation. How did that witness work out for the church? 

Perhaps a part of the issue is the idea that we have to sneak Jesus in to stuff, like getting used to the water one toe at a time rather than diving in. Which approach is best? Again, just a question for thought. Yet it is a question that should be asked when planning such methods.

I like what I heard Matt Chandler say about why they don't have a coffee bar at their church. He said (not an exact quote) that they don't offer coffee in church to encourage their people to go out and buy coffee on the way to church and interact with the people they meet as they do. Tip the barista. Say thank you and don't cause a scene when the order is wrong. Seems to be in line with Matthew 28:19-20. Jesus said GO, he didn't say, Bring them in with cool activities and nice buildings and etc. Of course, this approach has its drawbacks too. It might take longer. In some instances, the desired result might not happen. And, of course, it takes mature and grounded Christians to pull it off. Whereas the other approach puts the task mostly on the church staff. Did the preacher give a good sermon? Did the Youth Minister give a good devotion? Does the Music Minister look good in skinny jeans and a knit cap?

One of my greatest concerns today is that we have an audience of people who think they are Christian because they go to church. It is as if God is taking attendance. Just as in the days of Jesus, only instead of looking to the scribes and Pharisees, we look to those on stage. Is there any depth? The pool goes on for miles, but there is no need to part the water because if you walk across, only the bottom of your shoes gets wet. And no one wants to get their feet wet.

Put 'em up!

Authority in the Church is not meant to be wielded as a weapon.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (p. 184). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

Fear. It paralyzes. It causes us to do things we might not otherwise do. We feel boxed into a corner and we just want to fight our way out. Perhaps we react first, then think.

Leadership in the church begins with following. Ironic, isn't it? If you don't truly see yourself as a follower first, I question if leadership is for you. Jesus always saw himself as a follower of God first. So even in those times of confrontation, you see a sense of purpose and compassion. I think of his encounter with Nicodemus. How frustrating that must have been for Jesus. For Nicodemus claimed to be a teacher of Israel, but did not grasp the concepts Jesus spoke of. Sure, these were not the concepts that the Jewish leaders understood the Scriptures to teach, but they were apparently the ones God intended.

I think back to my time at University Christian Church in Muncie. As I read some old posts lately, I was reminded of the meeting with the elders. How they dictated everything to accomplish their purposes. Made accusations but felt above the need to verify their accusations. Or even in some cases understand their accusations. It was about fear. Probably fear of another split. Had they chased others out before? Probably, but in different ways. Those who stayed stayed for one another.

Fear. It paralyzes.

Driving in circles

To fear God is to have a heart that is sensitive to both His God-ness and His graciousness. It means to experience great awe and a deep joy simultaneously when one begins to understand who God really is and what He has done for us. Therefore the true fear of God is not a fear that makes a person run away and flee from God. It is a fear that drives him to God. Love for God and fear of Him are, therefore, not at all incompatible.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (p. 172). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

I love my dad. And I also respected him. I knew that if I crossed certain lines, I would be held accountable.

I trusted him, that even when he punished me or did not give me what I wanted, that he always had my ultimate good at heart.

Mom too. About 20 years before she died, she wrote a letter and put it in with her important papers in a safety deposit box. In the letter she talked about her love for her family, and how she desired to give us everything, even if it meant there was nothing left for her. But also knew that to do so would cripple us, causing an unhealthy dependence on her and dad.

I thank God for my parents.

There are many who drive in circles. Loving God when things are going well, questioning or even deserting him when they don't. But when we trust Him, it is then that we should run to Him. To hug Him because He does not hate us. Ever.

There are philosophers who speak of the problem of evil. That because such a level of evil in this world exists, that it rules out the possibility of a loving God. But to me, that is like saying that down cannot exist, because the height of up is so high.

Evil exists because in order for good to be seen, it must have an opposite. But because of God's mercy, and His power, he can control the level of evil in the universe. Such a delicate position for Him to be in. On the one hand, not wanting us to be swallowed up in evil. On the other, needing us to see the extent of His goodness. Desiring to give us good things without crippling us in the process.

I thank God for my God.

My Budweiser hat

The flesh is truly weak, and we are foolish to attempt to live in it. And we are cruel if we teach students they can.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (Kindle Location 2240). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

If the only thing teenagers learn in student ministry is to “bring a friend and don’t have sex,” they will not weep bitterly when they falter because their hearts will not be in awe of God.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (Kindle Locations 2260-2261). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

It is no wonder that so many believe that there is something that we must do to merit God's grace. It has been taught to us for a long, long time.

I remember the youth group talks. Don't do this, don't do that. I remember one of the first trips we took. Now I was not from a church family. My parents were German immigrants. It was not unusual for Dad to have a beer with his dinner. But I never saw him drunk. And I never associated beer with sin. It was just a beverage that adults would drink, but kids didn't because it contained alcohol. I even had a Budweiser hat. I never thought anything about it. So when I wore it on the trip, I didn't think anyone would see it as a big deal. Until I later overheard the Youth Minister talking to another adult about the trip. He mentioned some issues that had happened, and then said, "One of the kids even wore a Budweiser hat."

Two thoughts occurred to me at that moment. The first was, "What was wrong with the hat?" The second was, "If you had a problem with the hat, why didn't you talk to me about it?" But I was learning. Learning through the conversations and the lessons and the sermons that if you were a Christian, there were things that you just did not do because God would not be pleased.

Recently, I heard Matt's take on an all to familiar teenage topic. Sex. He said that teens will frequently ask, "How far can I go before I commit sin?" Great question, right? Matt's response was something that in all of the talks and lessons, I had never heard before. As I remember it, it was something like this, "If you have to ask this question, it shows you already are headed in the wrong direction. It's like asking, 'How close can I get to the line, before I cross into sin?' It is not about what can I do or what I can't do, but it is about what honors the God that I love!"

What a different approach! But one that honors God so much. One that looks at the heart above all else first. One that does not bow to some legalistic ideal, but causes you to consider what it means to love God above all else. I think it is a message that not only teens, but adults need to hear as well.

How's that workin' out for ya?

The preacher should not feel as if he is carrying the burden of life change; he merely carries the burden of faithful exposition and the robust proclamation of the text at hand, trusting that God’s Word will never return void

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (Kindle Locations 1836-1838). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

A while back, at a certain church we attended, a certain preacher started preaching about life-change.

He spoke of the need for this change as if it were through his own words that everyone would suddenly get it. He spent the first 4 minutes of the sermon telling the people how great they are. Then he spoke of how pleased God must be with them. In reading the church's new vision statement, he says, What if UCC became known as the church where life-change happens?"

Now life-change is a noble goal, but is it the goal of the church, or the pastor, or anyone? Life-change is not a goal, but should be a result of meeting Jesus. So perhaps if life-change is our goal, rather than tell people how to live, we should first introduce them to Christ.

It seems even Jesus was not successful at telling people how to live. All of the sermons and talks, yet Peter told Jesus that He (Jesus) should not suffer and die. And then there is that whole denying Him 3 times thing. It was not until Peter understood what Jesus must do, in fact, it was not until the Holy Spirit filled him with this knowledge, that Peter got it. Our duty is to plant and water the seeds, it is God who makes things grow.(1 Cor 3:6)

Hit the road, Jack

If the pastor’s face is the logo of a church, there’s a chance that Jesus is not the hero. If programs, creativity, leadership savvy, or innovation is your hero, this is a good indication that the church is not centered on the gospel . Jesus is always the hero of a church centered on the gospel.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (Kindle Locations 1481-1483). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

We attended a church for a while where the pastor did about everything. He hardly missed a Sunday in the pulpit, visited every person is the hospital (and made sure to mention it on Sunday morning), and developed every plan or program that the church had to offer. And most people loved him for it.

So when we asked some questions about his theology, or gave another interpretation of what a passage might mean to our small group, it was not taken well. In fact, if we couldn't completely support the pastor without question, we were told there were other churches we could attend.

This church had been through some rough times, almost closing because of a split prior to this pastor coming on board. The people loved him for seeing them through that. You just might say they worshiped him, because they did. He was their new savior. And he relished the role.

The church was growing, not by leaps and bounds, but maybe 5-10 members per year. And growth means God's okay with whatever you do. At least that was leadership's opinion. It did not seem to matter that people were also leaving at a brisk pace. Turnover was the key. Keep a few more than you lose each year, and everything is fine.

There is a line in their stewardship video that just about sums it up for me. It comes around the 0:56 mark. The pastor states, "...and we probably wouldn't be here now if these facilities had not been built to meet our needs." Perhaps following up with a few lines from one of our hymns. "My faith is built on nothing less than this fine building and self-righteousness." Thank goodness their needs were met. We wouldn't, or perhaps couldn't, have a church if our needs were not met. Faith and trust in Jesus will apparently only take you so far.

So after shaking the dust off our feet, we hit the road.

In the same way, church cultures void of the gospel are empty and worthless. Church cultures, apart from the grace of Jesus, are utterly broken . And just because a church talks about grace does not mean its culture is filled with grace.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (Kindle Locations 1536-1538). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Truckin' along

Our motivation to obey the commands (or imperatives) of Scripture can finally become a delight when we see that the reasons (the indicatives) almost always center around God’s love and provision for us in Christ. Through the gospel, the Holy Spirit empowers our motivations so that we are driven with gladness, not guilt, being ever reminded of our forgiveness in the gospel, not our failures in the law. It is God’s ability, not ours.

Chandler, Matt; Geiger, Eric; Patterson, Josh (2013-11-26). Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centered Church (Kindle Locations 378-381). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

So here is one of my struggles, so much of what is preached and taught in church centers around our actions. If Jesus is lucky, he is tagged on as an after thought. Just last week our Sunday School teacher made a comment in jest, but there was really more truth to it than she realized. She said (about halfway through the lesson) "And let's talk about Jesus too, because after all, this is Sunday School."

The first half of our time together was spent on the law. The rules. Here is what you have to do to be a good Christian...in this instance it was "go out and get to know your neighbors. Now how can we be more intentional about doing that?"

Now I am not saying that getting to know your neighbors is a bad thing. I would even say it is a good thing. Unless I tend to be a jerk or something. Then maybe not. But a desire to know my neighbors it is not what I believe should drive my behavior.

Jesus endured the cross for the pure joy of it. (Heb. 12:2) He didn't do it to be a good guy, He did it because He loved His Father and wanted to please Him. He did it because nothing brought Him greater pleasure than serving His Father. I used to think that His joy came from saving me, but I don't believe that anymore. I believe I am the by-product of His joy, not the cause of it. His joy comes from glorifying God, not rescuing me. He fixed His eyes on God, just as I should fix my eyes on Him. My joy should not come from my neighbor thinking about what a great example I am, but my joy should come from Jesus calling me a faithful servant.

That is what I want to drive me, my love for God and His Son. To be driven by the beauty of my forgiveness rather than my attempts to earn that which is already given. To rely on God's ability, and not my inability.

I don't think I am completely there yet.

But I am working on it.

Detached

I am finding myself becoming more and more detached from evangelical Christianity. (See last post)

I don't like that idea, because I know that to Jesus the church is important. But he also spent a lot of time confronting the religious leaders of the day.

I try to look at his example, but need to understand my own imperfection as well. It's that whole thing about worrying about the speck in my brother's eye while having a plank in my own. Problem is, once the plank has been there for a while, you kinda get used to it.

It's quite a dilemma. Wanting to share what I believe the Gospel to mean while not making enemies in the process. I need time to think. To pray.

What's in your preaching?

Often in popular preaching today it seems that the goal is to get through the interpretation of the passage in order to arrive at the contemporary application, which typically evidences the preacher's own hobbyhorses and recent diet of reading or movies. Usually, application equals law-to-do lists-rather than using the passage to actually absolve sinners of their guilt and rescript them in their new roles as those who have been transferred from the covenantal headship of Adam to Christ.

Michael Horton. Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church (p. 145). Kindle Edition.

I think back to most of the in-person preaching I have heard in the past 5 to 10 years. While my opinion of some of it was okay (at that time), I now look back and say to myself, "Where was I really challenged to grow?" or "What did I hear that was not something that most in the audience did not already agreed with?" or "Yeah, I remember reading that book too."

I still go back to inviting my heroine addicted brother to come to church with me, and him actually saying yes. Then, after the service, when I had heard what at the time I thought was powerful, I dared to ask what he thought. He replied, "I thought it was lame." It took me a while, but I think so too now. What we had heard was a rah-rah session for believers. No gospel, just a statement of we as Christians are right! Jesus is the answer for white, middle-class America. Sign-up now for your spot in heaven!

But now that I see that I am a sinner, that is not what I want to hear. I want absolution. I want to know that Christ offers that to me. I can go to the movies myself.

Dad started doing the dishes

We are not called to live the gospel but to believe the gospel and to follow the law in view of God's mercies.

Michael Horton. Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church (p. 124). Kindle Edition.

I find this to be an interesting quote. Doesn't living the gospel sound like a good idea? I hear people say things like "Be Jesus," and "What would Jesus do?" Aren't these things okay?

What does God really want from us? Many people would answer "relationship." But I think that depends on your definition of relationship. The Bible says God wants belief. But even that can be a tricky word to define. And then there are James' words that "even the demons believe - and shudder!"

So the belief that we have is not merely intellectual assent. It is a knowledge that leads to an action.

For some reason, I have been thinking about my Dad a lot lately. Growing up he was the bread winner, and Mom took care of the house. He got home from work at 5:00, and dinner was on the table as he stepped through the door. Afterwards, he did the man things that needed done around the house. Or sometimes took a nap on the couch. But after he retired, Dad was often found in the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes, even though Mom told him he didn't need to do it. (But I could tell that she really liked it.)

Why did he do it? Was it an attempt to get Mom to love him more? I don't think so. Was it guilt over all of the years she had done so much in the kitchen while he seldom set foot in there? Nah. I think it was just a deep expression of his appreciation and love for her. Over the years they had done so much for each other. I can still see Mom in the kitchen, making Dad an extra sandwich with the cheese that smelled worse than my socks after gym class. Same thing. She did it out of love, and not obligation or guilt. He worked hard to provide, and this was a way of expressing her appreciation.

So what does this have to do with the quote from today? I think it is the same idea. We don't try to live the gospel, but because we believe the gospel we respond to it in certain ways. I don't have to live under the burden of being Jesus or trying to figure out what he would do. I am not Jesus. I just have to believe in what He has done and respond in deep appreciation, not in perfection or obligation. The demons shudder because that is the part they lack, the appreciation that works itself out in their lives. They believe the gospel, but that very gospel itself makes them angry and in opposition to God.

So maybe that is why Jesus says that when we feed the hungry or visit those in prison "in his name," we have done a great service to him. It is not the action, but the appreciation because of our faith that he enjoys. Likewise, when the action occurs without the belief, it does not impress him. So what I need in my life is not more effort, but more faith that leads to the kind of response lets God know that even though all of the actions in my life could not repay the debt I owe, I deeply appreciate the fact that I no longer owe that debt.

Who wouldn't want that?

I used to attend University Christian Church in Muncie, Indiana. I stopped attending there a while back, about the time I started this blog. Many of my initial postings were the spiritual issues that were happening in my life, and in our dealings with the church there and its leadership. For some reason today, I was drawn to listen to one of the speaker's sermons, to see if there was anything different.

As I listened to the message, I realized that he was preaching through "The Story" by Max Lucado. He was in Exodus 1:6-10 for his text. As I listened, I heard a factual story, I thought for a few moments, was I wrong in choosing to leave? Would time have made a difference? Could I have been fed there? Yet even as I listened to this message, there was that nagging feeling (some would call it the prompting of the Spirit) that something was wrong or missing, there was something about this message that didn't ring true.

As I listened to the message at any single moment, it was difficult to disagree with what was being said. God is mighty and powerful and can deliver us out of any circumstance. But it wasn't until I looked at the message as a whole that I realized what it was that bothered me (again). He spoke of God's power, he spoke of God's deliverance, he spoke of God's plan, he spoke of the trust that we need to put in God. He even spoke of how we can be sure of God's deliverance. But it reminded me of the used car salesman who would tell you how wonderful the car you were looking at was, but didn't want you to get the car fax. Or as Paul Harvey would say, he wasn't telling "the rest of the story."

What does it mean for God to deliver us? What does it mean for God to provide? He gave an illustration of how God provided the right house for him and he even got a generous gift to help him renovate it. Is that what it means to give your life to God? He will provide your needs and wants? Who wouldn't want that? God can get rid of my issues? Who wouldn't want that? God will heal my marriage? Who wouldn't want that? He can fix my finances? Who wouldn't want that? But doesn't this turn my whole relationship with God into what He will do for me? Is that what Christianity is all about?

Or is it about what Christ has done for us (past tense). Nowhere in this message did I hear this. (Well, there was the obligatory invitation at the end that touched on this, connecting it to the message somehow. It reminded me of the closing arguments of the salesman, telling one that this car had been once owned by a little old lady from Pasadena who only used it to drive to church on Sunday.) It was not that God would deliver us from our sinful state, only that He would deliver us from our problems. Surrender meant healing and that all would go well. How did that work out for John the Baptist? Or Jonah? Did Job persevere only because of what would come later? It was not about God's power to defeat the evil that binds us, but His power to give us good things in this world. It was preaching to the choir, it was telling itching ears what they longed to hear.

I pray for this speaker. I pray for those who hear his message and think that is all there is to it. I pray that God would open their eyes. I pray for myself too. I pray that God would continue to convict me of truth. I pray to continue to trust in Him, even when things don't go the way I think they ought. I pray that my contentment would be found in Him, and not what He brings to me. That may not be what a lot of people want, but it is what I want.

Contentment

Chapter 12. The final chapter of the book.  It begins with Paul's idea of contentment. So what does that idea sound like? It sounds like this...

"All his needs have been met in Jesus, so all he has left are wants."

I don't know about you, but I am not there yet. But I want to be.

We live in an instant world. Instant coffee, microwaves, the internet (which just keeps getting faster), etc. So much has changed in my life. But since I spend so much time in the present, it is hard to see it sometimes.

So where is contentment? Is it with the next big thing? I haven't downloaded IOS7 yet, but even when I do, can 8 be far behind? Paul had his share of highs and lows. And he talks about learning contentment through them all. Learning content. That is a tough concept. I want contentment now. Joel Osteen knows this. It helps him sell books like, "Your Best Life Now." Matt takes a different approach. One that might noT help sell as many books, but one that has a better ring of truth in my opinion.

"contentment means being satisfied not with the gifts but with the Giver."

If I want to find contentment, it cannot be in the things my God brings to me, but rather in my God himself. I am still working on that.

Peter, have you misplaced the keys to the kingdom again?

Seeking to be relevant, the church too can become a shopping mall of false promises that yields despair or self-righteousness, rather than faith and the fruit of the Spirit. (Ch. 6)

I will say that what I see going on in churches is my biggest struggle right now. Having attended one church for 8 years, but then getting involved with leadership and seeing what the actions and attitudes were behind closed doors was a struggle. A serious struggle. A minister embezzling funds, poor treatment of people who just want to serve, blind eyes turned to serious issues, and an attitude that said, "God put us in charge, you need to deal with it." A culminating moment for me at this place was a weekend leadership retreat. Upon realizing that very little time had actually been spent in prayer, the lead minister stated, "That's okay, because we are doing God's work." Yikes!

Our next experience was even worse. We had dared to question something the minister had said during our small group discussion, and were called before the eldership. No one was allowed to speak on our behalf, it was a closed meeting. Even the minister himself was not at the meeting. Lots of lies and accusations, but nothing can be challenged if those who made the accusations are not present. Nor was anyone else at the meeting allowed to attend. But they had t-shirts that said "Be the church." And folks were encouraged to wear them as they did a once a year service project for the community.

So now we sit in relative silence, worshiping in a church that is so large, I doubt they would notice if we disappeared. Participating in a Sunday School class with a group of good people, but feeling like we are on the outside looking in. That statement in the above quote, "false promises that yields despair," I can relate to that. So desperately hungering for a gospel-centeredness that seems to be unreachable.

I won't give up on Jesus, I won't give up on church, but it is a struggle right now.

Bet you didn't see that coming!

Natural religion, spirituality, and morality are in fact our chief means of running away from God. (Chapter 2)

For some reason I went back into the archives of my blog and read the letter the pastor sent to us after we had met with him.

Yes, many of my comments were sarcastic and harsh. But my writing was my venting. It's cheaper than a gun and doesn't get you in as much trouble. (There goes that sarcasm again!)

As I read that, and then this quote, a feeling of sadness comes upon me. It serves to validate this quote to me. It is that whole idea of working our way toward God rather than letting God come to us. But how can we come to God, when all our best works are but filthy rags? How do we dare approach him? Is not Isaiah's attitude better, knowing that we are people of unclean lips? Shouldn't we instead fall down at our knees and be afraid?

As I read the words of that letter, and as it caused me to think about that later meeting with the elders, it breaks my heart. Surely this is not what Jesus had in mind for his church. I think of the verse where we are told that the path to heaven is narrow, and few find it. But how few is few? Perhaps that few is a bit smaller than we might be comfortable with. Perhaps that few does not have as many American Christians on it as we would like to imagine. But all I get out of this for right now is that I need to watch where I am stepping, I need to make sure that my feet are on the right path.

It's okay to vent, but I pray for these people. And for the souls of those they lead. God help us all.

Twang!!!

I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For, being ignorant of the righteousness that comes from God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. (Chapter 2, quoting Romans 10)

Do I know these kind of people? I tend to be a bit cautious when answering that kind of question, lest I be the one it is talking about. And I think I was at one time. I followed by heart, I went to Bible College and got me degree. I went into ministry and worked my tail off. I had a zeal, but ended up getting divorced and losing my job.

And do you know what my biggest regret is? It is the fact that I now believe that I was totally unprepared for ministry. I had the knowledge, the degree, but I was ignorant that my righteousness was not found in my effort to please God, but rather that my righteousness came from God. I just wonder how a solid comprehension of that fact might have changed many things.

I was in Youth Ministry. I spent tons of time with kids, and our population was growing. And that was gone in an instant when my wife said she wanted a divorce. I should have seen the signs, but I was too busy being zealous for God. Meanwhile, my wife was being zealous for a deacon.

I don't blame her. I was wrapped up in something that I believed was good. I was at the schools, the sporting events, contributing to the state conventions, etc. Spreading myself as thin as I could. Trouble with spreading yourself thin is, eventually the rubber band snaps.

Twang!

But it was in one of those moments, after the divorce, after taking my son back to his mom, that depressing ride home, wondering where it went wrong, questioning why God let this happen, didn't He need me? It was in that moment when the answer came. No. He didn't need me. I was devastated. But after a few moments of self-pity, another word, telling me that although he didn't need me, he wanted me. That was the beginning of a new-found righteousness. A realization that although I had failed, He had not failed me. And I wish I could say that since that moment it has been smooth sailing. It has not. But I am learning not to stretch the rubber band to the breaking point. I am learning that it is not about me. That is a good, but hard lesson to learn.

Tired of the hype - looking for hope.

Like Christless Christianity, this book is written for a wide audience of Christians who are burned out on hype and are looking for hope. (Introduction)

That's me, tired of the hype. I no longer believe that we do people justice when we try to attract people to the church, rather than attract them to Jesus. I am not against good music, energetic preaching, good programs, etc. It is just that so often the means of our worship becomes an end in itself.

Somewhere along the way, I discovered something was missing. Jesus. We had gotten so intent on drawing people to church, that we forgot about Jesus. We became so intent on having the outside of the cup look good, that we neglected the inside. We had become Marthas. We had become more concerned with making sure the housework was done, and we just don't have time to just sit at the master's feet.

To live a gospel driven life our eyes must be fixed on Jesus. Where is that in today's Christian culture? Where is the church that simply says, "We love Jesus?" Instead, we promote our children's program or a particular ministry, or our kickin' worship band, great preaching, etc. And people can walk in and walk out without experiencing what it means to come face to face with Christ.

I understand the disconnect. I just don't believe it anymore. I just can't practice it anymore. And that usually ends up getting me into trouble.

What is the Gospel?

What is the Gospel? I think it is different things to different people. And I think God is okay with that. Sometimes.

We can have differences that fall within God's purpose, but I believe that we can also have differences that fall outside of God's purpose. I am drawn back lately to the time when this blog was begun, back when I started to struggle with the meaning of what it means to be a Christian, and started questioning some of the stagnant beliefs that had been a part of my life for so long.

Perhaps that is why I have not blogged in so long. I don't like being negative, but I cannot help but think that the answers to such questions have a greater impact than we would like to admit.

So where do I go from here? I could tell stories. Been there, done that. Although I believe that the group that I am a part of now is more well intentioned. I think that I had those good intentions at one time, and was very satisfied in that place.

So a book it is.

Having read his book, "Christless Christianity," I have a lot of respect for this author. I am sure that it will offer much food for thought, and perhaps a few challenges along the way.

Obedient Children

Article Found Here

I have posted this for me, so that I can go back and look at this article when I have more time.

One of the lines is this: Obedience looks like this: 1) act immediately, 2) without compliant, and 3) without back talk

So...Am I teaching my children what obedience looks like? But more importantly, do I know what obedience looks like? (I am a child too, a child of God.) Yeah, that one is a little tougher.

I was doomed to hell! (That is what I heard, anyway)

I was going through my old posts, and found this as a draft. I didn't want to discard it, so here it is...

A remembrance from childhood...

I was raised by a Catholic mom and Lutheran Dad, so we were sent to mass at a Catholic Church when we were younger. My older brother was even an altar boy, a fact I find very ironic! (You would have to know my brother to understand that.)

I must have been about 7 when this happened. It was a weekday evening, and my brother was at church. I was looking for him, so I stepped inside to see if he were there. I cracked the door open and scanned the sanctuary. I did not see him, so I left. Apparently, there was some kind of service going on at the time.

As I was leaving the building, a priest asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for my brother, and did not see him, so I was leaving. He then proceeded to tell me that I had just committed a mortal sin. (I am not sure what that sin was, perhaps leaving a church service? Talking to a priest? Looking for my brother?) I remember thinking, "Well, that does it, I just blew it and now I am damned to hell for all of eternity." I don't recall if I had any further conversation with the priest, but I do recall going home, all the way thinking what it was going to be like in hell.

We tend to remember strange things from our childhood.

Jesus was there that day, as he always is. And he took care of me as he always does. I ended up leaving the Catholic Church a few years later, but story is for another time.

I see the signs now, "Catholic Come Home." They make me chuckle. Come home to eternal damnation is what I hear when I read those signs, and I am not interested in that. I read a lot about people who have left the institutional church for a variety of reasons. I can understand why sometimes. Is it just me, or has the church (as a whole, and not just the Catholic church) gotten away from what it was intended to be?