Sermon on the Mount - Part 7

 Today I want to look at verses 13-16, once again focusing on who Jesus was speaking to, and on the context of the entire message. 

Matthew 5:13-16

(13)“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.
 (14)“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.  (15)or do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.  (16)In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Jesus has just finished what we call the beatitudes, where He has detailed what it would look like for someone who truly knew and understood what God desires from them. Pretty much everything He detailed is what is not found in the current Jewish practice. There are the two groups that He is speaking to, the Jewish leaders who probably gathered in one area, and the common Jews, who likely were spread in to other areas. The leaders kept their distance from the common people, partly because of wanting to be ceremonially clean, but also I believe because they genuinely thought themselves better than them. 

So in my mind, what I see as Jesus speaks these verses, is a deliberate turning away from the leaders and turning toward the rest of the crowd. So often when we hear these verses we focus on the words salt and light. While these words are critical to the understanding of these verses, in my mind, as Jesus speaks these words, He is emphasizing the word "you." As in you, the everyday people, are the salt of the earth, the light of the world. People are not going to come to Jesus because some leader is good at following rules or memorizing Scripture. Now, they might listen to them because they don't want to go to hell, and they think that is the pathway, but is that really what it means to be a disciple of Jesus? They might listen to them because they are a good speaker, have great stories, or tell them what their itching ears want to hear, but is that really what it means to be a disciple of Jesus? Ihey might listen to them because that is how they were brought up, or because they don't want to be disrespecful, but is that really what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?  I've seen this post where people treat faith like is it some kind of eternal fire insurance, that by making Jesus Facebook famous we are witnessing to the world. Was that Jesus' goal, to go viral? Is that what Jesus meant when He told us to go and make disciples? That is so easy, so much easier than having to carry my cross. 

I cringe a little when people think that they have fulfilled their obligation to God by saying a prayer or getting baptized, and then maybe inviting people to church. Maybe instead of talking about how great our church is, we need to be living like we have a great Savior! Maybe that is why we have to have such huge buildings that sit empty most of the time, and give our time and money to great programs and speakers, because if people really knew me, I doubt that would convince them to come to Jesus. Maybe that is why we seem to focus more on what God can do for you rather than what He has already done in Jesus.

If we are going to take Jesus at His word, you are what gives the world its flavor, you are the light that shines to reveal Jesus, not buildings or programs or preachers, you. Right? (Note: I am not saying that we cannot use these things, but if the first part of the equation is not you, then we seem to be missing the most important part.)

Edited 2/4/2022

Back Again

 2021 has been a challenging year. I have had so many urgent issues to deal with (such as family illnesses) that blogging has had to take a back seat again. But the issues have not changed. I was just reading the post I had written before taking that break, and I find myself in a similar situation again. I won't go into that now. 

Jesus's Sermon on the Mount has been on my mind a lot lately. Not little bits and pieces of it, but the whole thing. There is a message in this sermon that I had missed because I was looking at the details instead of the whole. This was his first recorded public sermon. What was He trying to get across?

I believe He was setting the stage for His ministry. Out with the old and in with the new. The old way of doing things had become corrupted. Corrupted by man's ways of doing things. Trying to put God in our debt, instead of recognizing the debt we owe to God. Leaders had become proud and arrogant. Followers had become worshippers of leaders rather than of God. Jesus sought to correct this while still giving the items of importance their appropriate honor. 

Matthew 5:17-18 (ESV)

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished."

Look at the beginning of the message. He attacks the ideology of current thought by highlighting behaviors such as meekness and mercy. 

I am not sure where I will go from here. Or when that will be. Still a lot of things that I have to deal with on several fronts. Should I continue with my prior thread? Maybe that would be good for me to finish. I still have some drafts started that I probably should go through. Or should I address my current issue that has been laid on my heart? Perhaps a return to the Sermon on the Mount? Or another popular book to discuss. The one I just read has my head spinning, and not in a good way. More like the ways that you might see in a Linda Blair movie (The Exorcist). 

Time will tell. Whatever the course, it will be done mostly out of therapy for me. Sometimes I just need to vent.

Mad Max - Part 1

 Yesterday in Sunday School we watched part 4 of Max Lucado's video series called "Glory Days." On this day we were watching part 4, called "Audacious Prayers."

Now I will be honest up front and say that I have not been impressed with what I have seen from the series. It reminds me a lot of the Joel Osteen types of messages. His mantra or chant at the front of each session bothers me as well, and reminds me a lot of what Mr. Osteen often does when he is preaching. But it seemed that yesterday reached new heights of audaciousness.

Mr. Lucado  was talking about  praying audacious prayers, and he was using the Book of Joshua  as his text. Specifically, Joshua 9 and 10 where Joshua is deceived by neighboring nation and later is called to help that same nation. He eventually gets into the place where Joshua prays to God for more time, and God causes the sun to stand still for a day.

Prior to getting into the meat of the message he speaks of Martin Luther, when apparently a co-worker of his became ill and Martin Luther prayed to God for his healing. According to Max, Martin attacked God using God's own weapons (Scripture). He also quoted Luther as saying,  “He must grant my prayer, if I was to henceforth put faith in his promises.” He also quoted Luther in another instance where he was praying for someone's recovery from illness, saying, “ for this I am praying, this is my will, and may my will be done, because I only seek to glorify the name of God.” 

Now I don't know how accurate these quotes are regarding what Luther said. I know that I would not want every word I have ever spoken to be written down. So I'm not addressing the fact that Luther may or may not have said these words, but what I am concerned about is Max's use of them. If  it is true that Luther said these words, do they present a means by which we should pray? Would it ever be okay to tell God that he must Grant a prayer request? And that if he didn't, we would no longer have faith in him? 

Lucado goes on to quote Hebrews 4:16. He read, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, and stay there, and stay there, and stay there, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need." The bold part is added by Lucado, but for those not familiar with the passage, it might seem more like he is just emphasizing and restating what he believes is an important part of the message. The point I believe he wants to make is that we can go boldly before God. That seems a stretch to me from this passage. To me, being able to go with confidence has more to do with our not being afraid, and when we do we can experience God's love through the grace and mercy that God has for us.

Getting Started (Galatians 1:1-5)

SCRIPTURE

Galatians 1:1-5
Paul, an apostle—not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead— and all the brothers who are with me,

To the churches of Galatia: 

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

COMMENT

In writing the book of Galatians, Paul is tackling an issue of false teaching, specifically the idea that in addition to faith in Jesus, some external obedience to the Jewish law was also required (Judaizers). He begins this book by stating where the authority for this book comes from, which is Jesus Christ Himself. Of course, if you are a skeptic, that does not mean much to you as anyone could say their authority comes from Jesus (and many do), but those who knew Paul, who witnessed his ministry, suffering, dedication, etc. probably had little doubt as to his commitment and the truth of his message. Such was the original audience for this book, the church at Galatia.

Paul was an apostle. Not by the normal route, as he was not a disciple of Jesus while Jesus walked the earth. Yet Paul was "set apart from birth" to his role. (Galatians 1:15) So when Jesus was in His earthly ministry, Paul (then called Saul) was probably observing from the outside, despising every word that came from the Savior's mouth. Paul continued this after Jesus's death by persecuting Christians, until an encounter with Jesus Himself, where Jesus struck Saul blind on the road to Damascus, leading to his conversion experience.

In verse 4, Paul describes Jesus as he "who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age." I think this is an important statement in light of the teaching that Paul is combating in this book. Paul will confront the Judaizers, those who believed that in addition to Christ's sacrifice on the cross, we must still follow Jewish law to be saved. Paul is setting out that Jesus gave himself for our sins, and it is what He has done, and not what we do in addition to it that saves us. Even today, that is a tough concept for people to grasp.

Interesting Tidbit: There are those who believe that when Jesus encountered the Rich Young Ruler, that was a confrontation with the man then called Saul. Puts an interesting interpretation on the story.

What Is the Difference? (Matthew 25:31-46)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 25:31-46

COMMENT

The question I want to tackle today is, what is the difference? What is it about the first group group that is so different than the second? On the surface, it is a issue of works. The first group gave food, drink, and time in visiting the sick and those in prison. So works is what get us into heaven, right? Well, if you have read this blog before, you know that I do not believe that. I thin there is a deeper difference, and it is in the first groups response to the Son of Man. In verse 37, the first group ask, "when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?" You see, they did not do these things to impress Jesus or gain salvation, they did them because that is who they are. They had repented, turned to Jesus, saw Him as being of great value, and appreciated what He has done for them. In return, they led a changed life that not only saw Jesus as being of great value, but also saw their fellow man of being of value. Their life of service was an outflowing of their love of Christ.

When Jesus says, "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me," they were not thinking of themselves or how they had treated others, they were likely thinking of how they could have possibly done those things for Jesus Himself, when they did not see Him. But Jesus is speaking of how they did those things for Him by doing them for others.

The second group wonders the same. How did they miss doing all of those things for Jesus? They never even saw Him. But He was there. There in each opportunity they passed by because they were only thinking of themselves. 

I want to see Jesus.

It's NOT About You, Really! (Matthew 25:1-13)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 25:1-13
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

COMMENT

So very much like the last post from Matthew 23. Kind of like a part two, which I talked about at the end of the post. In chapter 23, Jesus is addressing the leadership. In this section, He is addressing the hearers with a definite message: DO NOT BE LIKE THEM!

We feel the need to worship, but sometimes the focus of that worship is misplaced, and we worship the messenger rather than the sender of the message. Some preachers exploit this, and have become multi-millionaires in the process. They sometimes preach prosperity, and other times they preach pain and suffering. But the thing they do not preach is the cross of Christ, and without that, their preaching is in vain. (1 Cor 1:17, 1 Cor 15:14)

Repentance. That is where the servant's heart comes from. It is not enough just to be a servant, there must also be the servant's heart. That is why the cross must be preached, for it is the basis for our actions. We offer our lives as living sacrifices in view of God's great mercy toward us. (Romans 12:1-2) DO NOT BE LIKE THEM, those who would ignore, or even worse, abuse the cross of Christ by making it about us and what we do or need. I think one of the teachings of Christ that we tend to not want to think about is the idea that the road to heaven is a narrow one. Many have chosen a path, but it is not the right or righteous path. My belief is that those on the wide path are not just those who don't want any part with God, but also those who seek to go to heaven, but are not taking the correct path to get there. Do we really believe that the path to God is about us and our own righteous deeds? Is it really a "try harder, do better" mentality that will get us to our goal? How did that work for the Jewish leaders? Read the book of Philippians, look at all that Paul was, and how he learned that is was meaningless, like dung, and the only thing that mattered was Christ, and Him crucified.

Philippians 3:12 "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." Why does Paul press on? It is to earn salvation, or is it because of what Christ has already done? SO then, the life and deeds of Paul, his service, are not a means of achieving salvation, but rather a response to the salvation he has been granted. Praise God!

Practice What You Preach! (Matthew 23:1-12)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 23:1-12
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

COMMENT

Problems with the scribes and Pharisees as leaders:

• They preach, but do not practice
• Not willing to bear the burdens they place on others
• Do deeds to be seen by others
• Love the attention their roles provide for them

This is not, in my opinion, a cry against the Prosperity Gospel preachers of that day or today. It is actually much worse. It is a cry against those who would misuse the teachings of the Bible to give them something they are lacking, without understanding the direct relationship such teachings have to themselves.

Preach, but do not practice: This is done by some who believe that God has called them to a superior role over others, while denying God's sovereignty over themselves. Preachers who tell others from the pulpit how to live (don't smoke, drink, watch porn, curse, etc.), but fail to live perfect lives themselves. When we make the Gospel about how to live right instead of why we love God, we shift the focus and lose the correct focus in the process. You might say, "But the Bible tells us many things we should and should not do." You would be correct, but those do's and don'ts are not an end themselves, but rather a result of showing us what it means to love and honor God. When we become a living sacrifice, we do so "in view of God's mercy." (Romans 12:1-2) So we do it because we have seen God and His mercy for us, and it draws us onto a love relationship, not an obligation to do good for the sake of salvation.

Not willing to bear the burdens they place on others: When you see yourself as God's chosen messenger, it is going to affect you. Jesus did not do this. Paul did not do this. They saw themselves as God's servant as well as the servant of those God sent them to minister to. I have dealt with pastors who did not have time to talk to me, told lies, stole from the churches funds, and worse. I once had a pastor say at the end of a weekend retreat, "I just realized that we did not spend any time in prayer this weekend, but it is okay, because we are doing God's work." Really? Is that the same message he would preach to the congregation if he were speaking on prayer? Or do different burdens go to the people in the pews?

Do deeds to be seen by others, Love the attention their roles provide for them: Some give preachers a place of reverence, just because of the title. In some faiths, they go so far as to call them "Reverend," Pastor," or "Father." They sometimes wear clothes or other additions to their wardrobe to indicate their status. And for some, that is where it ends. They talk a good talk, they preach morality, but as far as knowing Jesus, I have to have a question mark. But they do love the praise. I think of a story I read in one of Mark Batterson's books. As I recall, his father had taken him to a Super Bowl game, and he wanted to take his son. So he got on Twitter and asked if there was someone who had tickets he could obtain. God heard. He not only got tickets, but all he had to do for them was preach at a church. Not sure of all the details and not interested in rereading the book, but it just stuck me then as it does now, that this is a misuse of his place and privilege as a minister. Your thoughts?

Bear in mind, this is not just a warning against those in leadership. Anyone who pursues the things God offers over God Himself needs to repent. I will just end with with verses 11 and 12: The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

The Wedding Feast (Matthew 22:1-14)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 22:1-14
And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding feast, but they would not come. Again he sent other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, “See, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding feast.”’ But they paid no attention and went off, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. The king was angry, and he sent his troops and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding feast is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the main roads and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find.’ And those servants went out into the roads and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good. So the wedding hall was filled with guests.
“But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment. And he said to him, ​‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen.”

LANGUAGE

Vs 14  called - invited, appointed
Vs 14  chosen - select, favorite, chosen

COMMENT

Longer passage than usual, and a lot of things that could be focused on, but I want to deal with the main idea of repentance, a theme that I believe goes through all of the gospel of Matthew and Jesus's teachings.

Consider the first group, those who were invited to a wedding feast, but did not come. Why? As invitees, were they not acquainted with the groom's family, the king? But that did not matter to them. They just refused the invitation. The second time they were invited, they were shown all of the lavish preparations that had taken place, yet some went about their own business while others treated the messengers roughly, even killing some. It appears that their level of respect towards the king was zero.

But the wedding feast was ready! The king determined that those invited were not worthy. Why? Because by rejecting the offer, they were rejecting the king. A great feast had been prepared for them, and they snubbed it. Not worthy because they did not want to take time out of what they were doing and come. Not worthy because their level of respect for the king was zero. Perhaps they even hated and despised the king. So others were invited, both good and bad, and the feast went on as planned, just with different guests.

One man was spotted without a wedding garment. Being invited off the street to a wedding, of course the guests were not dressed for a wedding. No need, as custom dictated that appropriate wedding attire be provided. Yet one man decided that he was okay as is. Quite a slap in the face to the king, a complete lack of respect. How did he even manage to get in? The parable does not say, but it does say that once approached about his lack of wedding attire, the man had no response, he  was speechless. The king had him bound and thrown out to a place of punishment.

Then come the words that we do not want to hear, "For many are called, but few are chosen." Regardless of what you feel about predestination, these words indicate that the number of those who attain heaven is far smaller than the number of those who desire heaven. In the parable, only one man is singled out to leave. But how many others of those invited were not able to sneak in without wedding clothes? And he that did, must have tuck out like a sore thumb. What does this say about our easy-believe-ism of today? We tell people to say a prayer or even get baptized so that they can be saved. We hand them the wedding garments, but do they put them on? (Romans 13:14) Do they crucify themselves with Christ? Do they put on Jesus? Or do they just go back about their lives, tucking the wedding garment away in a closet, to be pulled out in case of emergency?

Who Is It? (Matthew 21:28-32)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 21:28-32
“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him.

COMMENT

I believe the first step in understanding this parable is to consider the audience to whom it was spoken. Since Jesus had just been questioned about His authority by the chief priests and elders as to where He got His authority, I assume He is still speaking mainly to them, and then perhaps to the crowd as well.

I think the next step would be to determine who are the characters in the parable. Who is the first son, and who is the second? The second son gives his father lip service only. He says he will do as the father asks, but then does as he pleases. In Jesus's eyes, this would be the chief priests and elders. Jesus talks about how they have ears, but do not hear. In most of the parables that he tells, they are the bad examples, and one would find it difficult to see any change in that here. They honor God with their lips, but their hearts are far from Him. (see Isaiah 29:13, Matthew 15:8,9) The first son is the one who actually does what the father has desires, although not at first. Again, if we look at the overall message that I believe Jesus is constantly coming back to, this is an issue of repentance. The first son must change his mindset for a reason. Perhaps, having had time to consider his actions in light of all that his father has done for him, he sees the error of his choice and changes his course. In other words, he repents. Therefore, it is not about the obedience in doing what his father has asked (sacrifice), but it is the change of heart (mercy) that matters. (Matthew 9:13) So when they (the Pharisees and leaders) stand in judgement, and those who they have preached against and despised (the sinners of the world) are granted salvation, they have no excuse, God's judgment is righteous.

That is going to be a harsh realization for many. Fortunately, there is still time to repent. That is the gospel.

What Do I Lack? (Matthew 19:16-22)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 19:16-22
And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

LANGUAGE

Vs 16  good deed - ἀγαθός agathos; a primary word; “good” (in any sense, often as noun): — benefit, good(-s, things), well. Good, good thing, that which is good, the thing which is good, well, benefit, of good constitution or nature; useful, salutary; good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy; excellent, distinguished; upright, honourable

COMMENT

First, a comment about something I read in a commentary once. What if this unidentified young man in the story was someday to become the apostle Paul?  It does make for an interesting thought while trying to understand this story.

So many interesting details are embedded in this story, but I want to focus on what I see as the main idea. I see the main idea as Jesus teaching true repentance. I see that idea in a lot of what Jesus teaches, starting with the Sermon on the Mount. What we seem to have here is a young man who is "perfect" in his observance of the law, and yet perhaps sees that that still might not be enough to secure his place in heaven for eternity. He is correct, but Jesus, knowing his understanding of religion, needs to guide him to a different way of thinking. The question the man asks is, "What good thing must I do to have eternal life?" I presume his thinking is that their is some tangible act that he can perform that will tip the scales of balance assuredly in his favor. Wouldn't we all want that? But rather than give him a direct answer, Jesus focuses on the phrase, "good deed." Another way to think about this, and perhaps with better understanding of what the man was truly asking is, "What distinguished act can I perform that will set me apart in the eyes of God (and therefore others as well) that will assure my salvation?" Jesus needs to address this idea of "good." Since even our righteous acts are as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), Jesus makes it clear that only God is good in this sense. Then He goes on to say, "If you would enter life, keep the commandments."

What? Jesus advice here is to follow the law, to do the very thing this young man already believes? Understand, that Jesus is still trying to convince this man that this path is still a vain one. The man responds, asking Jesus, "Which ones?" Seems as though the young man understands the difficulty, if not the impossibility of keeping them all, so in effect he seems to be saying, "Which ones do I really have to keep, because no one could keep them all." So Jesus plays along, and gives him so to follow. Great, the man must be thinking, I am good here and have kept all these. But surely there is still something missing, so he asks his final question, "What do I still lack?" The answer Jesus gives is mind-blowing, not just for this man, but for about everyone who has heard it since. "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." What? Everything? That's too much, I can't... and he walks away in sorrow, because he had a lot of possessions.

Where was Jesus leading this man? I believe that He was leading him to an understanding that the law was not enough. That no matter what this man did, he would not appear perfect before God. But since this is also recorded in Scripture, what is He saying to us? Must I sell the house and car, take out the retirement plans and distribute them to the poor? I have heard some say, "Well, you just have to be willing to do that." Really? And I suppose I just have to be willing to pick up my cross and carry it? I think that line of reasoning just seeks to do the very thing the young man in the story is trying to do, justify our behavior, justify a lack of true perfection and obedience.

The truth of the matter is that no one can meet this level of perfection. I believe this is the truth that Jesus is trying to convey here. Notice Jesus does not just say give it all away, He also says "come, follow me." That is where the needs get met. That is where perfection is given. That is what I believe is the true main idea of this story, repentance. Not just the turning away from sin, but the turning to Jesus. You can't give away everything and live. For is you follow that logic to the extreme, you could not ever eat or even drink again. For if someone gave you some food or drink, you would be obligated to give that to someone else before meeting your own needs. But in repentance, we turn from what we have and depend on Jesus to provide. Maybe then we sell that house, or at least downsize so that others may be taken care of too. Or we trade for a cheaper car, or eat Ramen noodles instead of caviar and lobster. We take on a mind that is transformed, and it is no longer about us, it is about Jesus. In other words, we repent.

Repentance or Forgiveness? (Matthew 18:21-35)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 18:21-35

COMMENT

Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone. A perfect question in light of Jesus telling His disciples what they should do if a brother sins against them. Now Peter was a smart guy, and he knew that Jesus expected more than the norm. Rabbis thought three times was sufficient, Peter extends it to seven. Jesus takes it a little farther by saying seventy-seven (some versions say seventy times seven).

So what is Jesus getting at here? He seems to be making the point that there is no limit to how often we should forgive. Now sure, there will be some who will count, and at seventy-eight they are done. But I am confident that was not Jesus's intention. To make that clear, He tells a parable.

In the parable, a servant owed a debt he could not pay. The master was within the law when he ordered not only the man, but his entire family to be sold to recover the debt. The man pleaded for mercy, saying he would repay, even though the possibility of that was almost zero. Out of pity, the master not only releases him from being sold, but he forgives the debt. That is huge! The man owed 10 talents. In today's money, over 10 million dollars! Contrast that with his fellow servant who owed him what amounts to a few dollars. In anger over what he might have perceived as a part of the reason he could not pay his master, he ignores his fellow servants pleas and has him jailed.

But others witnessed this, others who surely must have known how this first servant was forgiven a debt of millions. So they did what probably many of us would have done, they went to the master and tattled on him. The master summoned the man, and because of his behavior he reinstated his debt and had him jailed until the debt was paid, a life sentence. Jesus goes on to say that this is how we will be treated if we do not forgive "from the heart."

Now would could bet legalistic here, and say that forgiveness itself is a requirement for salvation, but I don't think that is true. Jesus doesn't just call for forgiveness, He calls for forgiveness "from the heart." Forgiveness that is not given to appease God, but rather in praise of God and the salvation that He gives. This is repentance in my opinion. Repentance is not merely turning away from sin (legalism), it is a turning to God, a change of life that occurs because of the massive debt that Jesus has paid on our behalf. The kind of change that the master here expected of his servant who had been forgiven millions.

This passage, to me, is more about repentance than it is about forgiveness.

Greatness (Matthew 18:1-6)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 18:1-6
     At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
   “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

COMMENT

The disciples came and asked Jesus, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Perhaps, as in Mark 9, their real question was "Which one of us is the greatest?" Judging by Jesus's answer, I think this would be the case. So Jesus calls a child to himself, puts the child in their midst, and tells them that unless they become like a child, they will not even enter the kingdom.

A few things I want to address here. One is the difference between being child-like and childish. The disciples were already behaving childish, bickering about who was the greatest. That is not what Jesus is wanting. He is wanting child-likeness. The idea of wonderment, the idea of dependence, the idea of not acting like you already know it all. (Obviously, the child Jesus showed them was not near his teenage years yet!)

"Turn and become like children." A change must take place, and perhaps had not yet taken place among the disciples. Humble, this word draws me back to the Sermon in the Mount again. Specifically the Beatitudes. This is a change, a turn from the religious thinking of the day. Perhaps a turn that is needed again today. One thing that has always puzzled me is the idea that some (many?) have that they got it right, that their belief system is THE ONE that Jesus is most proud if. Perhaps they go to church multiple times a week, give over the 10% minimum (allegedly) required, don't drink, cuss, or go to R-rated movies, or whatever. Maybe it is their doctrinal stance, when they take communion, are they baptized, how their church is governed, etc. 2,000 years after His death, and they are the one who have it right. Maybe it is whether they are Calvinists, Arminians, or neither. Maybe it is it is something else. Whatever the case, Jesus seems to be looking for something else. Attitude, humility. What if the real church is scattered among the church itself, along with the weeds that will be removed later. That is a scary thought, yet fitting considering His words that those who do not turn will never enter the kingdom.

How do we receive the children, those new to faith? Do we indoctrinate them into our belief system, so that they become like one of us? Or do we show them Jesus through our humility and graciousness? Because how you receive the child indicates a lot about your own destination.

40,000+ People Can't Be Wrong, Right? (Matthew 16:24-28)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 16:24-28
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

LANGUAGE

Vs 24  come - accompany
Vs 24  after - follow
Vs 25  save - protect
Vs 25  lose - destroy
Vs 25  find - find, get, obtain, perceive, see

BACKGROUND

Jesus had just foretold His death to the disciples. Peter rebukes Him, because Peter is thinking the way a man thinks. But Jesus rebukes Peter for not setting his mind on the things of God.

COMMENT

Jesus is continuing His thoughts after rebuking Peter for telling Him that He should not have to die. I think Peter might have easily be taken in by someone like Joel Osteen and his "Your Best Life Now" philosophy. But now Jesus is speaking to everyone, and it is not about your best life now. In fact, it is just the opposite. This is a hard truth. But if we interpret this teaching in light of the idea that repentance is the change of life one experiences after really understanding and knowing Jesus, and not just a matter of wanting to get to heaven or avoid hell, then it makes perfect sense.

To save or protect your life is to destroy it. Again, in light of the Corona Virus, I cannot help but think of people who are putting their own survival (or just even comfort) in front of everyone else. I just watched a video from Germany where a woman was struggling to carry more toilet paper than she was probably able, while others in the background were also stock piling supplies. How are some of these people going to live with themselves when this is over? And in their effort to protect themselves, are they not already losing some of themselves in the process? But we do tend to live in the moment, don't we?

I keep thinking of Jesus's teaching about the narrow road. I also think about how many people think they are on that road. People who believe that God owes them something, that they can get on God's good side by flashing their sacrifice (which Isaiah calls "filthy rags) before Him. All that travel just to get to a road whose end is not their desired destination. Wake up, people.

Changing the Rules (Matthew 15:1-9)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 15:1-9
Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.” He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, ​‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ​‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:
“‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

COMMENT

Bill Belichick, coach of the New England Patriots football team, is a football rules expert. He knows how to take advantage of certain situations for the benefit of his team using those rules. He is also known for allegedly violating those rules as well. The Pharisees and scribes knew the rules. I am told they committed the first five books of the Bible to memory. Amazing. But it is one thing to know the rules, and another to know the intent of those rules.

The Pharisees and scribes were like the referees in God's economy. They interpreted the words of God. But sometimes, as is human nature, they did it to their own advantage. Jesus gives the example of forsaking the command to care for parents because they had given that money "to God." 

The Pharisees and scribes were bothered because Jesus's disciples broke the tradition of the elders by not washing their hands when they eat. Especially today, in light of the Corona Virus, this is not a bad thing and might actually offend some. But it was tradition, part of the Jewish customary law. Jesus does not really address this issue, but when questioned, turns a question on them. I think perhaps the important issue here is not what the disciples were doing, but the fact that the Pharisees were scrutinizing the behavior of others when their own behavior had issues that needed to be addressed.

This is not a small matter, as Jesus links this to a matter of worship. He says that the honor given by the Pharisees was only lip service, their heart was actually distant from God. So what does this say about those who focus on rules today, but little else? I would tend to think it says the same thing, that perhaps their heart is actually far from God. Does this mean that behavior does not matter? Of course not, but the first person who we should be scrutinizing is ourselves.

More Questions Than Answers? Matthew 11:25-30

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 11:25-30 (ESV)
At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

LANGUAGE

Vs 25  hidden - conceal, keep secret
Vs 25  revealed - take off the cover (same again in Vs 27, "reveal")
Vs 26  gracious - satisfaction, delight, kindness
Vs 27  chooses - be willing, intend
Vs 28  labor - feel fatigue, to work hard
Vs 28  heavy laden - to overburden (with ceremony)
Vs 29  yoke - a coupling, the beam of balance (such as used when hitching two oxen together)
Vs 29  mild - humble
Vs 29  lowly - depressed, humiliated, cast down
Vs

COMMENT

This section brings up lots of questions, and challenges what I and many want to believe. I want to believe that the decision to follow God is my decision. I want to believe that I can understand and know the truth. But this section begins with the statement that these things are hidden from those who think they know, and even that this was a kindness from God. A kindness for who?

So back I go to the beatitudes. A kindness for the humble, the meek, the ones who hunger and thirst for righteousness. The children of God. So another question comes up, who are the little children? What qualifies one to be a child of God? The Pharisees and Sadducees were dedicated, giving their lives to the understanding of God. They memorized long passages of Scripture, they studied the law and knew every part of it. Yet for all of His ministry, these are portrayed as the very ones in opposition to Jesus. Did their wisdom and understanding bling them to the truth, or did God "hide" it from them? If so, how can they be accountable? Was God responding to their pride? I do not have the answers.

Jesus goes on to say, "no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. (Vs 27) So what does it mean that Jesus has to choose who God will be revealed to? Might this relate to the idea in Matthew 7, where Jesus tells some to depart from Him, because they never knew Him? Again, tough questions where I do not have the answers.

Then, in verse 28, He tells some to come to Him. Is this an invitation for everyone? According to the verse, it is an invitation for those who labor and are heavy laden. Is He perhaps speaking to those who, under the leadership of the Pharisees and scribes, have been put under a burden that no one could carry? Similar to today, those who by well-meaning but misguided preachers, are told more about how to be a good Christian than why? Who preach living to such a high standard of holiness, but seldom mention the reason we should strive for holiness? Who preach actions but not the beauty of the Savior who should be the basis for those actions?

Verse 29 tells us to take His yoke, to learn from Him. Not the yoke of the Pharisees, scribes, or even today's legalistic preachers. His yoke. For he is humble and lowly in heart, and therein lies rest. (Again, this reminds me of what He taught in the beatitudes.) For His yoke is better. I much prefer the use of the word better than easy. I do not think Jesus ever taught that being a disciple would be easy. Better, yes. Better in many ways. Better in helping us to deal with the challenges of life, better for our eternal souls, better in offering peace and true joy, even in the midst of suffering. And his burden is light. Not a list of 1,000,000 do's and don'ts. Just a couple of things to remember: Love God and your neighbor. That I can do. Not perfectly, but offering me perfection is why Jesus came in the first place, that part of the burden is on His side of the yoke.

Follow me Matthew 9:9-13

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 9:9-13
As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him.
And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ​‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

LANGUAGE

Vs 13 mercy - compassion
Vs 13 sacrifice - the act or the victim

COMMENT

The choices that Jesus made for His disciples are interesting, and I think should speak clearly to us about what kind of followers he does and does not expect.

Take Matthew for instance. Matthew was a tax collector. On the scale of socially acceptable people, you could not get much lower than a tax collector. For one thing, tax collectors bought the privilege to be a tax collector, and then used that job to get wealthy by taking extra tax money from those they were collecting from. Another thing is, as a tax collector, they had to be in contact with gentiles, thereby defiling themselves constantly. So, if you really want to make a statement and tick off the established rulers, you definitely want a tax collector as one of your disciples.

So when Jesus was in the house (not sure from the text if it was Matthew's or not), it just made sense that some of the others would be friends and acquaintances of his disciples as well, including Matthew. And that appears to be the case. Here was a Rabbi who not only tolerated this type of individual, he embraced them! Boy, did this get him noticed. The Pharisees questioned His choice of companions, interestingly here not too Jesus's face, but to His disciples. Why does your teacher hang with such riff-raff? (To which they might have answered, "You mean people like us?) But Jesus must have overheard their question. Or perhaps the disciples went and brought the question to Him. Either way, Jesus makes two important statements in his answer.

The first one is that He came for the sick, and not the healthy. He came to set the prisoners free (Isaiah 51:14). He came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10). This again, goes back to the type of person Jesus was talking about in the Sermon on the Mount. Humble, hurting (mourning), meek people who need a physician (think Savior), and not proud and self-righteous people who God owed salvation. Healthy people don't go to the doctor, and self-righteous people don't need to go to the cross.

Second is that Jesus desires mercy over sacrifice. In other words the heart of compassion is what Jesus desires, not just the mere act of sacrifice (obedience). Again, go back to the Sermon on the Mount. Or better yet, think about the Pharisee who prayed, "God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get." (Luke 18:11,12) Now here was an obedient man, one who had sacrificed mightily for his faith. Yet it was the tax collector who went away justified.

I recall being asked to talk to a youth who was a Junior or Senior as I recall, very active and faithful in church, but had not been baptized. During our conversation he explained, "But I am a sinner, and there are some things I need to fix before I do that." I told him he had it backwards, we don't fix ourselves in order to come to Jesus, we come to Jesus because we need Him to fix us. I pray that we  all might understand and pray like the tax collector, "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!" (Luke 18:13)

No Soup for You! (Matthew 8:5-13)

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 8:5-13

LANGUAGE

Vs 10  marveled - θαυμάζω thaumazō; to wonder; by implication, to admire: — admire, have in admiration, marvel, wonder.

COMMENTS

Remember the passage in the sermon Jesus just finished where he says, "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." (Mt 7:21-23)? I think this passage follows that train of thought.

A Roman Centurion, leader over a group of 100 soldiers, comes to Jesus on behalf of on of his servants. I imagine he thinks much of this servant, as this leader does not send someone to get Jesus, but goes himself. I also imagine that if he wanted to, he could have sent for Jesus, and the expectation would have been that if Jesus did not come, there would be consequences. So from the start, we see a certain sense of humility in this man.

Then, when Jesus offers to go with him, he tells Jesus that such action is not needed. In fact, he says that he is not worthy to have Jesus as a guest. Chew on that for a moment. A Roman Centurion not worthy to have a poor, itinerant rabbi to visit his home. Wow! Next level of humility. The Centurion goes on to say that he does not have to see Jesus there, but that he just needs for Jesus to say the word, and he trusts that his servant will be well. He reasons that he does not have to individually speak to each soldier and then follow them and watch them to know that his orders are followed.

The text says that Jesus "marveled" at his faith. I like the idea that the word translated marveled also carries the idea that Jesus "admired" his faith. Imagine, Jesus looking at your faith and admiring it. That thought sends chills through me. But why did he marvel or admire this man's faith? I see a couple of reasons. One, this man was not a Jew. Somehow he knew of Jesus, he knew of the miracles, he knew of the power this rabbi possessed. Yet among those who should have known more, those who had the Old Testament prophets and their teachings, those who studied the Scriptures and even memorized huge portions of them, they did not have such regard for Jesus. Two, this man did not need to see to believe. Remember Thomas, who would not believe until he saw that scars on Jesus' body? Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." His own disciples had issue with this! But here is a man who simply trusts Jesus at His word.

So back to Matthew 7. The scribes and the Pharisees thought they were doing the will of the Father, even to the very moment they has His Son crucified on the cross. Many today, think they are doing the will of the Father. They might go to church, give, and live a righteous life. But go back to the wise and foolish builders, what was the missing piece? What is the will of the Father? Is it not to believe in His Son? Not a statement of faith, a prayer, a ritual followed through with, but the complete understanding that Jesus is God's Son, and that by dying on the cross He paid the price for our sin. And if that is truly believed, then a change of life takes place. Without the foundation of rock, the house will not stand. Without belief in His Son, no place at the feast in the kingdom. No soup for you!

Wise and Foolish Builders - Matthew 7:24-28

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 7:24-28

COMMENTS

When looking at this passage, one must realize that it is not a stand-alone parable, but rather a conclusion to the Sermon on the Mount, and should be interpreted in that light.

Some notes about the story. There are 2 men, one who is considered foolish and one who is considered wise. On the outside, they look the same. The comparison is to two houses.The difference is not in the houses themselves, but in the foundation of said houses. You cannot see the basis of the foundation merely by looking at the house, although it is interesting to note that if the house is surrounded by sand, it is most likely built on sand and if it is surrounded by rock, it is most likely built on rock.

The foundation on the rock is the one who hears and does the words Jesus has been preaching. Again, start with the beatitudes and continue up to this parable, His words talk about an attitude behind the actions. You can be proud and give, but Jesus says the poor in spirit inherit the kingdom. You can live in sin and still go to church, but Jesus says the pure in heart shall see God. You can live the whole package, and yet still not have salt in your character or shine a light in the darkness. You can give an offering, but still harbor anger. You can be pure in body and speech, but lust is still present. The list goes on... Unless the heart is producing the behavior, it is not built on the rock, but perhaps just a white-knuckle attempt to avoid the punishment of hell.

The foolish man looks just like the wise man on the outside. Maybe he does not cuss, gives to charity, goes to church, mows his lawn every week, drives an SUV, etc. But the foundation of the actions are weak, or perhaps even non-existent. Many are trying to pay a debt to God that they cannot pay. It is through surrender to Christ that one achieves salvation, not deeds or good works. Yet the ironic thing is, that surrender should and must lead us to deeds and good works! Perhaps this is why it is said that God loves a cheerful giver. He loves the one whose sacrifice is a sacrifice of praise and not an obligation or attempt to pacify God's wrath.

The Law and the Prophets

SCRIPTURE

Matthew 5:17-20

QUESTIONS

• What were the Law and the Prophets?
• Why didn't Jesus abolish the Law or the Prophets?
• What does it mean to relax a commandment?
• Who are the least in the kingdom of heaven?
• Who are the great in the kingdom of heaven?
• How can our righteousness exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees?

COMMENTS

Jesus did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. Everything that GOD said still stands. (Please do not confuse the Law of God with the laws added by the leaders of the Jews). Jesus came to fulfill, or live up to the law perfectly. That is why He was able to be our perfect sacrifice, why He could offer Himself in our place. How much easier would it have been to just abolish or nullify the Law? That is what Satan tried to trick Him into doing in the desert. But the Law still stands. It's just that it has been fulfilled, so we do not have to fulfill it ourselves!

But the spirit of the Law lives on. Jesus was asked, "What is the greatest commandment?" He answered, "Love God with all your heart, and then love your neighbor as yourself." (Paraphrase of Matthew 22:36-40) So while we are not bound by the letter of the law, we are to follow the spirit of it. 1 Corinthians 13 comes to mind.

So now for the hard part, verse 20, where Jesus says, "unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Can you imagine what that must have sounded like to the people who were listening? The scribes and the Pharisees were the religious leaders, they studied, memorized, and followed the law with all their might. Some even claimed to follow it flawlessly. And Jesus expected others to exceed that?

But they followed it with all THEIR might. They did not follow the spirit of the law. In fact, they took the law and created loopholes that allowed them to follow the law to the letter, but in the process, completely missed the spirit of the law. Things like love and holiness did not matter, what mattered was the letter of the law. Don't some still do this today? Go to church, don't go to R-rated movies, don't drink or smoke, and so on. But they miss the spirit of the law, to love God and to love others. This is not lawlessness. This is going beyond the mere obedience to a set of rules and living a life that is a reflection of the grace of God in all instances.

Thoughts on Aaron Rodgers interview with Danica Patrick

• Aaron was intrigued by Matt Hawk because he was a Christian, yet he swears and he loves and coaches sports. Makes me wonder what kind of Christians he had interaction with prior to meeting this guy. While cursing is not something I prefer to hear Christians (or anyone else for that matter) do, it is an imperfection that many Christians possess. As far as loving and coaching sports, if he thought that was out of bounds for Christians, no wonder he has struggled with faith as it was portrayed to him.
• I love how he sees his mission trips as "really meaningful." But again, in light of how he perceived Christianity, I would love to know 2 things: ONE-What was your reason for going on these trips? TWO: How has this experience impacted your spirituality today?
• I understand your not having connection with certain Christian groups, especially if your view of Christianity growing up was skewed. It is hard to separate what we learned about Christianity growing up and what Jesus really taught about how his followers should live. I appreciate your efforts to search out what it really means to be a spiritual being. 
• I question your statement that "rules and regulations and binary systems don't really resonate with me." Sounds like your upbringing was at least somewhat legalistic, if not very strongly legalistic. I question if you really had a balanced view of Christianity. I also though, think it is dangerous to reject God because those things do not resonate with you. I can't get out of a ticket by telling an officer, "That speed limit really does not resonate with me."
• If you look at Jesus, and you look at the church you went to on Sunday mornings, the two don't match up. Jesus did not reject the outcast, in fact, he rejected those who looked down on the outcast. Sounds like your Monday evenings were more in line with that than your church experience.
• I agree with your distaste for a binary system like the one you described. But the picture of the the Christian in the Bible is not like what you experienced. You describe those who take pride in their position with God. The Bible speaks of approaching God with humility, with fear and trembling. We love God and we love others because of God's grace and love for us. We don't look down on anyone because of their sin. Anyone. 
• Again, approaching God in humility goes along with your statement, "I don't know how you can believe in a god who wants to condemn most of the planet." In your view, it seems that God has created us just to destroy us. But perhaps rather than wonder why God does not save all, humility says "Why would He save any?" Look what we have done, how we have rejected Him and His righteousness. The fact that He would send Jesus to die for even one who would accept Him then takes on an amazing facet of grace.
• You mention only 144,000 being saved. Is that what your church taught?

Aaron, I can resonate with some of your feelings. I have had a variety of church experiences, many of which have not been pleasant or representative of Jesus. But I pray that as you continue to dig into what truth is, you will be led to see that perhaps your current views about God and religion are not in line with what is taught by Jesus, his disciples, and the Bible.